Dear freshman self,

Stop trying to impress everyone and accept the fact that you are socially awkward. You don’t need to fit in with them because you’ll find people who are just as weird as you are.

You’re probably wondering what college you want to attend, what you’ll major in, what your skills are, who you’ll still be friends with, etc. Right now those questions seem impossible to answer, but you have four years to learn and experience things yourself. Let’s start with sophomore year.

One of your best friends convinces you to join Track & Field and Cross Country. I know right? Running? How could you ever enjoy that? Well, you ended up running for almost three years until you got a job at McDonald’s. I know that it’s the last place you would want to work at, but you will meet some of the most hilarious co-workers. Your passion for running ended after cross country camp in the summer of 2016. You weren’t improving, you decided not to major in journalism, you gave up on school, you isolated yourself from everyone and you just lost your motivation to do anything. To this day, I still don’t know why it happened. All I can remember is that feeling of failing in everything I did, having that negative mentality and waiting for good things to come on their own. But you’re going to need a reality check. The only person making you miserable is you.

The hardest decision you made was choosing between sports and work. Knowing how strong willed you are, you chose both to prove everyone wrong. For two months, you balanced school, sports, work and social life by getting no sleep. You would go to school and finish your homework in class, change in your car and go to practice, rush to change into your work clothes and deal with rude customers for four hours, only to come home at ten o’ clock every night to more responsibilities. At first you were doing well, but being sleep deprived caused you to fall asleep in class, wake up late, skip school to catch up on school, struggle to bring your times down on the track and messing up orders at work. For two weeks, you tried to bring up your grades, to finish your last season, to stay awake in class, to take orders faster at work, but it got to the point where you asked yourself, “Is this even worth it?” Then you talked to coach and explained that you had to quit because you have to think about your future. You can’t have everything because you aren’t Supergirl, remember that.

You have to stop running away from your problems—literally. Seeing your parents fight after the divorce and arguing with your dad over the slightest things aren’t going to bring you down forever. Think about what you’ve learned from coach, “You have to push through.” Perseverance, motivation, confidence and hard work will lead you to succeed.

You were capable of finding people you connect with, winning a medal in a race, getting accepted to San Jose State, saving up money from work to pay for your education, keeping an open mind and getting over your fear of socializing. Get up every hill you encounter and keep going until you finish your race. It doesn’t matter how fast or slow you go, as long as you get there, knowing you tried your best.

Sincerely,

Future you