How Asian Parents are Different
February 18, 2021
Growing up in Vietnam and the United States, I have lots of different experiences with my parents in contrast to other Western children. Ms. Stinson, a West High parent granted me an interview regarding American parenting and helped me to know more about American parents. Her daughter, Melisa Toilolo, graduated from our school in 2020. I’m not trying to say that Asian or American parents are better than others. They are different. This is written from my real–life experience to compare Western and Asian parents.
Usually, when children fall in love, it’s okay with American parents. While it is comfortable with American parents, Asian parents are conservative. They don’t want their children to have any relationships until they graduate college.
Grades are important with any parents to know what happens with their children in school. With Stinson, she said, “A’s and B’s are acceptable in my home. The students have to work in the class.” There is not any pressure in my house about grades. My parents have never forced me to get A or B. However, I must try my best in class and study as hard as I can.
Allowances are a part of American culture; the children are given money every month for saving or spending. Asian parents don’t give allowances because they think children are too young to have money.
College fees are important when the students want to learn in college. Stinson doesn’t pay anything for her daughter when she goes to college because she got full scholarship. She told me that in her house, her children had to work hard for themselves. However, my parents’ thinking is different. If I don’t have enough money to pay for my college, they will pay for me, but I must study hard in college. Education is the important investment with my parents and Asian people don’t want to have loans for any reason.
American and Asian parents have diverse ways to show parental affection. Stinson shared how she shows love with her children: “I encourage them, and say, ‘I love you’ all the time.” However, Asian parents don’t show their love as straight as American parents. They are serious when they say anything. Instead, they say “I love you” through their actions. For example, when I was hungry, my mother would let me eat her food and said that she was full.
Finally, I am not trying to say Asian parents are not as good as American parents, they are just stricter and express less emotions. I know that in different cultures, parents have different love languages. I know how hard my parents work to provide anything I want and take care of me. I am not trying to generalize, there are exceptions to every family. No matter what cultures we come from, parents still want the best for their children.
Carolyn Judd • Feb 2, 2023 at 5:10 pm
Well written, with diplomacy, but it saddens me that many Asian children don’t receive more direct love as in “I love you” and hugs.
If movies are accurate, the push to be accademically outstanding and successful in business has left emotional scars.