Marwa Mohammadi

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Marwa Mohammadi

Senior Marwa Mohammadi, courtesy of Lifetouch

Senior Marwa Mohammadi, courtesy of Lifetouch

Senior Marwa Mohammadi, courtesy of Lifetouch

Marwa Mohammadi, Features Editor

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At the beginning of high school, I was standing in front of West High with optimism in my heart and curiosity in my eyes. I simply could not be more excited to enter a new school and start the four most important years of my life. Here I am with the same feelings all over again. Sitting down and reflecting on my past experiences is harder than I thought. Should I scold myself for all the mistakes I made? Should I go on a rant about my bad memories? Or should I call people out for doing me wrong? All these thoughts are going through my mind but instead of following them I am going to take a more positive path. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve had bad experiences and I’ve befriended toxic people, but that doesn’t mean I should stay in the past. I should learn from my mistakes and move forward for a better tomorrow.

 

When I was a freshman, I believed that I was at the top of my world. There was nothing that could possibly get me down. I was a tiny girl with high ambitions, good grades and great friends. Sophomore year, I met many new people and tried to focus on the positive and ignore the negative. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but ignoring the bad does not really fix the problem. My problems kept piling up as I frantically tried to solve them myself. The person I considered a close friend at that point had turned their back on me and I was left alone. At the start of junior year, I tried reconnecting with old friends, but they had all moved on. Luckily, I met someone who I quickly clicked with. When I found this friend my life felt great again, but little did I know that it would take a sharp turn. The person who I cared deeply for turned out to be toxic and the main source of my unhappiness. At the time, I was too blind to see it so I did not blame them for anything and instead I took it upon myself. Caring for someone more than they cared for me really took a toll on me. What used to be a tiny girl with high ambitions had turned into a tiny girl with little to no ambitions. I wanted school to end as fast as possible. High school had become a thing that I detested and never wanted to remember. But now I realize that I can’t change my entire perception on life based on four years of my life. There is so much more ahead of me, and there is so much room for growth and improvement waiting to happen. What was about to be a letter filled with rage and sadness is going to be one of forgiveness and happiness. I don’t want to live the rest of my life thinking about the past. The past happened and it is done and over with. I can’t change it nor can I really erase it from my memories. The best I can do as of now is to grow and continue growing. To start, I need to let go and forgive. My life is just getting started and despite all the hardship I am glad that it happened because it transformed me into the person I am today. There are still places in myself that I need to work on, but for now I am fine and that is all that matters. For now, I am just focusing on these last few days of high school and making sure it is full of laughs and joy because I won’t have it like this again. So goodbye to the spot in front of Mrs. James’s room where I used to eat. Goodbye, to the paths I used to take to all my classes. Goodbye, to the many exciting rallies and football games. Goodbye, to the wonderful teachers who I have had the pleasure in meeting. Goodbye to all the friends I made in high school, whom I might or might not see again. And finally, goodbye to the young little me, who has so much ahead of her. Goodbye.

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